How I cured my childhood fear; emetophobia

If someone had told me 10 years ago that I’d be sitting here today writing my story about how I cured my emetophobia,  I wouldn’t believe it.

Short of having a lobotomy,  I used to think it wasn’t possible to move past this fear and sit on the other side of it. But, alas, here I am. I am here to share that yes, it is possible,  especially if you keep an open mind and believe that it can happen.

That’s the premise of this fear after all: being stuck in a mindset (an awful mindset) that plays on our behaviors and controls our beliefs. Beliefs that aren’t true and behaviors that hinder healing.

If you can rewire how you think about this phobia, you can change your life.

And that’s how it all started, roughly 10 years ago when I knew I needed to move past this.

It was after an awful stomach virus that my 2 boys came down with one winter. Just as I thought they were on the mend, their symptoms would resurface with a vengeance.

I remember exactly how I felt during that fearful and lonely week of being trapped inside of my mind of obsessive thoughts. I felt like an awful mother because I fantasized about leaving my kids because I couldn’t face holding a bucket for them. I felt tremendous dread every time they’d move and reposition their body. I couldn’t let go of the anxiety and recurring thoughts of wanting to just surrender my body to heaven. Then came the guilt and shame of even allowing those thoughts to enter my mind

I am a good Mom. I care about my kids. I love them more than I could ever explain to them, let alone type it out in a blog post for the world to read. But here I was, fantasizing about not being a Mom any longer all because of this stupid phobia.

 I hated it and wanted nothing more than to be rid of it. 

So when things calmed down,  I started to seek answers that led me down the healing path. If I had known at the time that this path would have been long, hard, and winding, I might not have chosen to venture on it. But now that I have reached the clearing, I am so glad that I put my foot forward and just kept taking steps.

Because here I am. 10 years later. Rid of daily fear and the anticipatory anxiety that it brings while I pray that my journey provides hope to others that know it’s torments well.

How I healed my emetophobia

After that awful week 10 years ago, I joined a few emetophobia support groups on Facebook. I honestly didn’t know what I was looking for, but boy did it give me some comfort knowing that I wasn’t in this alone. Being able to connect with others who were experiencing similar challenges brought me a sense of validation that I had never realized was important.

All my life I thought something was wrong with me. But after realizing that anyone can develop this fear, I felt hope that it could actually be cured.

So I started with a program called THRIVE. It’s a book and program specific for emetophobia sufferers. Because emetophobia is so tremendously different than most phobias (and multi-faceted in its behaviors), this fear requires a holistic approach to healing. And when I say holistic,  I mean a well-rounded approach.

I truly do not believe that just 1 thing will lead to healing.

I believe it’s a multitude of things that are needed in order to fully heal and keep the fear away. It would be like going to war with just ground troops. You might make some headway, but you’ll be more successful with aerial strikes,  guerrilla teams, and naval ships.

Thrive opened my eyes to what this fear really was and how it came to be. It helped me understand why I behaved the way that I did and why I couldn’t just will away this fear. It was enlightening to read and learn how I can challenge my thinking process while healing weaker parts of myself (perfectionism, controlling behavior, etc.). I started to follow the recommendations in the book and really took this fear head on.

And I had some great success.

I felt empowered for the first time. I felt hope for the first time. I knew it was just a matter of time and effort that this thing could actually work.

And it did for awhile.

Up until I stopped doing the daily exercises that is. By this time, I had a newborn baby and just started homeschooling my oldest. Not to mention that I was actively building 2 businesses from the ground up. Busy is an understatement.

I simply fell off the wagon of working on challenging my obsessive thoughts every day. And that’s what it boils down to: rewiring your brain and replacing those negative thoughts with positive thoughts. The entire idea of neuroplasticity is amazing – and it’s scientifically proven to work – it just takes a lot of stinking daily effort and I let it fall by the wayside.

So it was no surprise that I had a relapse and the anticipatory anxiety came back stronger than before.

I clung to affirmations and prayer during hard times, and they always got me through. I knew that I could withstand the hard moments,  but I just didn’t want to anymore.

With another baby added to the mix 4 years later, I was determined more than ever to put in the work and effort that I needed. But, finances were tight while we faced some unexpected medical expenses for our 4th baby. Yet again, my healing got put on the back burner as we focused on our little one being taken care of.

All the while, my emetophobia was still festering underneath just waiting to be unleashed.

I’ll admit, for having 4 kids at this point, my encounters with vomit had been very few and far in between.

We had only experienced 2 stomach viruses total in 10 years and just a few little incidents from random things like fevers, too much mucus with colds, and car sickness. So, I didn’t have much of chance to face my fears head on. If I’m being honest, I was grateful for that.

Fast forward a year.

Still ignoring the dormant volcano in my mind, I lived out my days as best I could with 4 kids.

I avoided crowded places, playgrounds, and grocery stores with the kids out of fear that they’d pick up a virus.

I became fixated on washing our hands every time we would come home from being gone and before every meal.

I avoided anyone like the plague if I knew that they had been exposed to any kind of virus that could potentially infection my kids and cause them to be sick.

I thought I was guarding myself, but really,  I was just digging myself a bigger hole that would only get harder to climb out of as time went on.

Then it happened.

When I thought all was well on the crisp morning heading out for a chiropractor visit, my then 1.5 year old got sick in the car.

I heard the awful noises. I smelled the stench that filed the air. And I felt that pit in my gut – and I knew I’d have to pull over and face it.

Surprisingly, I did very well. Better than I could have hoped.

I had recently been using phototherapy patches for a calming effect on my body and that morning it seemed to have worked since I didn’t get flustered into a spiraling tizzy. Later on, I realized that where I was wearing them was helping to promote brain balance.

This was the biggest win that I had ever had before, but I still didn’t know the long road ahead.

A few more car incidents proved that I could handle this and that the phototherapy patches were helping. My anxiety was still present, but it was manageable and I was able to calm myself down much easier than ever before.

Honestly,  for awhile, I thought this was as good as it was going to get. And at the time,  I had accepted that. 

But when the 3rd stomach virus sneakily found its way into our home, all of those thoughts and hopes that I could handle this came to a screeching halt.

I hadn’t worked on challenging my avoidance behaviors- those were as strong as ever.

Remember how I mentioned that I thought they were keeping me safe, but they were really just making things worse? Well, now is the part when I would find that out in real time.

Out of the blue, even after taking all of my usual precautions, it happened.

First, it hit my 2nd oldest. He was sick for several days out both ends. Then next came my husband. He only felt awful for days and never ended up being sick. 5 days went by and I thought maybe that was the end. I was cleaning and disinfecting everything daily, making everyone wash their hands, all the things. And then my eldest got hit. Strong and hard, but it didn’t quite last as long.

At this point I was hoping that the younger 2 could avoid it if we could all just keep up with the hand washing.

But during that night, I was barely asleep in my bed when my 3 year old (who was bedsharing me with at the time) got sick in his sleep ALL OVER ME. Even on my face.

Then the next night, it hit its last victim. And our younger 2 were incredibly sick for days and days.

During the midst of this never-ending week, I was not only on high alert and barely sleeping,  I was 20 weeks pregnant and parosmia kicked in. The distorted taste and smell was the least of my worries in the moment, but made the experience all the more depressing.

My anxiety was through the roof. My nervous system was shot. And I knew now, more than ever, that I wanted to be rid of these feelings for good.

So I worked on myself.

I developed better thinking habits. I started working out more regularly. I made healthier food choices. I stopped trying to cultivate relationships that were one-sided. I started to dive into my childhood traumas so that I could move past them and find peace. I cut out things in my life that didn’t bring me joy and things that overwhelmed me. I put my businesses on the back burner so that I could truly focus on my mental health. This time, for good.

Even after all of these changes, I was still dealing with anxiety,  obsessive thoughts, and avoidance behaviors though. I felt better,  but I knew it could be better.

That’s when I heard about this supplement called HAPPY juice.

I saw their clinical results & how it could reduce anxiety and depression while elevating mood and energy. I’ll admit,  I was a bit skeptical, but I figured why not try it and see? They have an awesome empty bottle guarantee,  so I took a shot.

And by golly, I’m glad I took that shot

Edit. Not glad. Overjoyed. Grateful. Profoundly filled with gratitude because within the first week of drinking this Happy Juice daily, my anxiety was GONE. Almost like it had never existed or had been erased from my mind. Perhaps what a lobotomy might feel like, but without the side effects.

I noticed that my obsessive thoughts we gone. And that’s when I knew this was big.

I had learned about the gut-brain axis and how gut health can impact mental health. In fact, over 60% of dopamine and seratonin are created in our gut (our feel good hormones) and that’s what happy juice does. It is formulated with specific probiotic strains that are clinically proven to increase seratonin, dopamine,  and GABA.

The clinical results fascinated me:

• 60% Decrease in irritability scores*
• 55% Decrease in feelings of anxiety scores*
• 50% Decrease in feelings of depression scores*
• 49% Reduction in overall distress*
• Improves overall mood by increasing positive mood by 211% and decreasing negative mood by 105%*
• 70% Increase in “good” bacteria*

So I purchased a monthly supply and then I started to noticed the results almost immediately.

Peep my first 30 days of using Happy Juice over on my Instagram story highlight if you’re curious.

Just 12 days into drinking it, this is what I shared with my friends on Facebook:

12 days ago, I started drinking this Happy Juice in hopes of relieving some of my anxiety and not losing my temper with my kids. I heard great things about this supplement on Instagram so I thought,  why not, they have a 365 day empty bottle guarantee,  what do I have to lose?!

No joke: my anxiety is gone. My obsessive thoughts are gone. I’m not snapping at my kids all the time. My mind is clear. No more brain fog. My ADHD brain can actually focus. I’ve been able to stick to my workout routine and I have so much more energy than I’ve had in YEARS. Me and the baby are sleeping better. And guess what?!  His eczema has cleared up completely after trying to eliminate it for over 3 months

I feel ALIVE. Like nothing I’ve ever felt like before.

My mind is focused and doesn’t feel frantic & pulled in a million directions like it usually feels.

Clean ingredients. Clinically proven to work. Non GMO. Tested for pesticides, herbicides,  heavy metals, and mold.

Before trying, I thought it was too good to be true. But I’m tell you, this is the real deal and completely worth every penny.

If you’ve been looking for a way to easily (and deliciously) increase your energy & mood, this is IT. I was a skeptic at first, but my eyes have been opened and I cannot wait to see what happens next Feel free to ask me questions below or shoot me a DM – I understand how sensitive it can be to share about the struggles of anxiety, especially”Mom rage”

You can imagine my surprise when I got these results when I was just looking for a little bit of mood support!

And that’s where I am today. 3 months later and still experiencing the same results.

2 weeks ago all of my kids passed along viral meningitis which would have normally wrecked me and send me into a spiral. But I’m proud to say that I remained calm throughout. My baby even threw up on me twice and I just dealt with it. Like a normal person. I literally changed my shirt, picked him back up, and let him snuggle me without worrying it would happen again.

Emetophobia is not a life sentence. You don’t have to keep suffering from it.

A little bit of mindset work, healthier habits, and keeping an open mind when it comes to trying new things can be all the difference between staying stuck and being set free.

Ready to try happy juice and see for yourself?

You can get started with your very own happy juice by visiting this link.

And, you can save an extra 10% off your order with this code: 1495591

There are a few flavor options to choose from and a caffeine and caffeine-free option. I personally LOVE the watermelon flavored edge with the pomegranate lime energy – the flavors really blend together beautifully!

GET YOUR HAPPY JUICE NOW

Heather Ford

Hey There! I’m a homeschooling Mom of 5 with a knack for all things natural.

I’ve been reading product labels & ditching toxins for the past 17 years and now I am helping others do the same. Glad that you stopped by!