I’ve been drowning in Motherhood lately, and not the good kind either.
Not the hugs and cuddles. The laughs and giggles. The kissed boo boos. The gentle, assuring smiles. The easy bedtimes and stories goodnight.
I’ve been drowning in the sibling arguments. The attitudes. The constant messes. The interrupted showers. The longer days of summer. The shorter nights of sleep.
Even if you’ve only been a Mom for a short while, you know what I am talking about.
Drowning in Motherhood is an all too close reality for many of us, especially now.
Mothers today aren’t just pressured to be great Moms, we are encouraged to also be providers.
Our every move is being watched and if we slip up, put a toe out of line, or heaven forbid lash out from bottled up frustration, then we are labeled “unfit.” (or perhaps just a bit crazy)
We are expected to run a tidy ship. To have our crap together. To raise confident children.
All the while, we feel it in ourselves to let loose, be the fun Mom for a day, let the dishes pile up, let the kids eat ice cream for breakfast, and just let go. Because it’s just too much.
Being a Mom for 12 years, I have felt swallowed up by Motherhood too many times for me to count.
But, as soon as it starts to swallows me up, my natural swimmer instincts kick in. I immediately rush to the surface for air, take sight of land, and swim to shore. Then I tell myself I will never take on those massive waves again – but here we are.
When motherhood feels like drowning, it’s probably because we’ve taken on waves that we just can’t handle alone.
Without support, without a life jacket, without a paddle, we start to sink.
In other words, we have bitten off more than we can chew. We are trying to fit in all the things that we feel like we “should be doing” in order to have this picture, perfect, Pinterest life.
In reality, life isn’t that flawless.
And maybe this is just one of my shortcomings, but I don’t think that you can have it all. The perfect house. The perfectly behaved children. The tight-knit family. The perfect everything.
There will always be some give and take at the end of it all, so it really boils down to your priorities.
What do you want the most?
What’s more important to you?
If you are feeling like you are drowning in Motherhood, then I can say with confidence (because I have been here many times before) that you need more calm and structure in your life.
If you want the calm environment, then you have to create it.
Or in this case, you need to look for the calmer waters.
Filling your schedule with a thousand activities isn’t creating calm. It’s stirring up chaos. It’s inviting those big waves to come and swallow you up when the storms start blowing in.
I cannot tell you what too much is too much for you. That is 100% dependent on your personality on what you know you can or can’t handle.
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But, an easy way to know how much you can handle is by assessing where you are mentally – and if it’s here trying to figure out how to calm the waters – then that’s an obvious sign that you’re taking on too much right now.
And there’s an easy way to change that: LET IT GO.
YOU hold the power to sink or swim in Motherhood.
And you can wield this power by being more attuned to your needs and being more intentional about HOW you approach Motherhood – and life in general.
It doesn’t matter WHAT it is, if it’s creating more chaos in your life, then you need to ask yourself: is the chaos worth the result?
More often than not, I am willing to bet no.
Are the individual sports for all the kids worth the extra logistical disturbances and disorder that it brings?
Are the late night of catching fireflies worth the wrecked sleep schedule & grumpy attitudes the following day?
Are the jam-packed weekends of “doing all the things” worth being away, disrupting your routine, and being disconnected from your family?
When you are drowning in Motherhood, you CAN bring yourself out of it.
You just need to be willing to ask the hard questions that need to be asked for the sake of your survival.
So the next time you feel yourself drowning, take confidence in knowing that ultimately, you create the environment that you are in.
If life is too chaotic, then find a way out.
And before you start coming up with excuses about how it’s just not possible to change it, ask the questions again.
Because for every problem, there is a solution. And if you are a committed Mother (which I know you are just by being here), then you will find a way find a solution.