How to deal with Mommy guilt when you work from home

Working Mommy guilt: if you’re a Mom and you work, either inside or outside the home, then you’ve felt it.

But, there’s a special kind of Mommy guilt that creeps in when you work from home WITH your kids there with you.

No words can describe how your toddler is tugging at your shirt because all they want to do is play games with you, but all you can think about is getting through your daily tasks.

Let’s not even forget to mention if you’re working on a deadline for your business, or worse, a client.

Nothing can take the wind out of your sails faster than trying to play tug of war with what needs to be done vs. your maternal desires and responsibilities.

But, just because it can feel like a constant juggling act, doesn’t mean that you need to harbor guilt, especially if your family income and livelihood is on the line.

Mommy guilt may not be able to be completely eradicated while you work from home with your kids, but it can be dealt with and calmed with a few simple tweaks.

Set working hours

If you aren’t working around a set schedule, then the Mommy guilt will only settle into your bones all the more.

By utilizing your time more effectively, you’ll be able to not only focus on the task at hand, but it will limit the time and opportunities you’ll feel guilt over.

Your working hours might look different than someone else’s, so it truly depends on you.

For me personally, I like to work first thing in the morning and get all of my emails, social media tasks, and everyday business maintenance out of the way.

Then, depending on the time on the clock, I move on to content creation (like this blog post) and focus on that for as long as possible.

Since I also homeschool my kids, I like to wrap up my morning work no later than 9:30am, which doesn’t give me a lot of time to work in the morning unless I am laser-focused and willing to put in the effort.

Then later in the day I come back at it and finish up anything that I still need to check off my work list.

Like I mentioned before, your schedule might look and need to be completely different, and that’s okay. Only you know your kids, your limits, and what needs done for business in each given day.

Know your ‘why’

One way of putting Mommy guilt aside fast is to know your why.

Why are you working from home?

Is it to be more flexible with your time? To be able to raise your kids without sending them to daycare? For financial freedom? All of the above?

Knowing this, and owning it, will help crush those Mommy guilt feelings over and over again.

Is it better for your kids to be near you during the day, even when otherwise occupied occasionally, or for you to be completely out of the picture until it’s dinner time and then shortly off to bed?

Only you can answer that.

My whys will be different from yours and every other Mompreneur in the world, but knowing exactly where you stand and why is an important part of letting that guilt go.

Mom first, boss second

I’ve slowly made this my motto in my business.

So many times I have worked and worked and worked all day long without the thought of leaving my desk. And when I did finally pry myself away from it, I would feel guilty that I didn’t get more done!

After all, I was working on my business to enrich my kid’s lives, so their best interest was in mind, right?

It wasn’t until I self-discovered that my business habits were unhealthy as a stay-at-home-Mom that my motto started to change.

Now I am singing a much different tune, for the sake of my sanity and for the sake of my kids.

Do I want them to look back on their childhood and remember me as their Mom who was always around, but never had time to be their Mom?

Heck no!

I want my kids to remember that yes, I worked hard and help provide for them, but I also knew my limits and spent the time with them to nurture their personalities and values.

So you have to ask yourself, “Am I Mom or Boss first?”

Once you know your answer, you’ll be more effective at what you do from home so you can better focus your time & energy without giving into guilt.

Create a realistic schedule

This is a BIGGIE.

Being upfront and honest with yourself about working from home with your kids in tow will make all the difference between Mommy guilt & Mommy burn-out.

If you expect to work 6 straight hours from home a day with a toddler and a baby, I think you might be fooling yourself.

You could, however, break up your day into smaller chunks that make up for the time you need.

Before the kids wake up, the first hours of the day, during nap time, and after bedtime are all great times in the day to get work done without the kids around & putting you in a hard spot.

If your kids are older and naps are out of the picture, opt for a quiet time during the afternoon.

Everyday between 1-3pm is quiet time in our home. Even though my older kids don’t nap, they are expected to do an activity quietly so everyone can have some rest and down time.

Sometimes I use this as a time to relax and re-gather myself, but mostly I use it as a time to get through the work that needs done.

If everyone has their own separate time during designated times of the day, there will be no room for guilt to set in because this is also YOUR time too!

Your family dynamic is unique, and your schedule is no different.

Be creative and realistic when it comes to hammering down time during the day to get the job done AND be the Mom you want to be.

Give yourself grace

I cannot stress this with enough passion; give yourself some grace Momma!

Being a Mom is HARD. Trying to double up and work while you’re raising kiddos,well, that’s 10x harder!

No one, including yourself, should expect you to be perfect all the time, everyday. In fact, you shouldn’t ever expect to get it all done.

This is why having realistic expectations are so important.

If you set yourself up too high, then you are only going to get let down. When you become let down, it can lead to resentment. Once in resentment mode, you can question your why & if it’s even worth it in the first place.

Giving yourself grace is acknowledging the fact that you CAN’T do it all, all of the time, and that it’s OKAY.